I Would Survive the Zombie Apocalypse Like This…

Alright, this post is not about books at all, but seeing as zombies sometimes appear within books, I guess it’s relevant.

How many of you have recurring nightmares? I have two: one is that I get a phone call from my high school saying that I am lacking one mathematics credit and my diploma will be taken away if I don’t return to school immediately and complete, and the other is the zombie apocalypse. I would say that I dream about zombies twice a week. I have no idea why. Anyway, sometime in college I had an idea that if I planned a survival strategy very carefully, then maybe I could induce some kind of lucid dream where I took control and executed my plan, and if I did it enough the dream would just get bored and go away. Nevermind if dreams get bored! Let me tell you the plan so far:

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????My plan is to get on a boat and sail to Tuckernuck Island.

Tuckernuck is a small island off the western edge of Nantucket, Massachusetts. Although Boston (where I live) is much closer to the little islands that hang about in Dorchester Bay, most of those islands are either connected to the mainland by roads and sandbanks, or are too barren to offer an acceptable safe haven. As such, to there would cometh the zombies, or dieth I would of starvation. (Also, forget about how to get the boat, or out of Boston and all the way around Cape Cod. That part of the journey has too many variables. The important part is the goal.)

Back to Tuckernuck: this is a private island whose residents (about 35 houses) are mostly present in the summer only. Scenario 1: the apocalypse occurs in the off-season and practically nobody is there. Scenario 2: the apocalypse occurs in the on-season and there are only 35 families to deal with. Adding on to these two scenarios, there are no official cemetaries on this island, so unless people are being buried in their yards or something, there shouldn’t be any rising zombies to begin with. An infected person could perhaps be brought over on a boat or a little airplane, but it seems unlikely that either of these crafts would be able to make it to the island if there was a zombie outbreak on board. Incubation time across most zombie stories and movies seems to be relatively fast, and it’s likely the whole craft would be filled with zombies en route, and zombies are generally not able sea or airmen.

largeLet’s keep going: Tuckernuck island is home to quite a few duck and tern species, as well as the prunus maritima (beach plum), myrica pensylvanica (bayberry), and gaylussacia baccata (huckleberry), all of which are edible. In addition, fish and shellfish and other sea critters would likely be present. Although the nearby islands of Nantucket and Martha’s Vineyard prove to have more modern resources, they also prove to have a few cemeteries, which is a big no no in the zombie apocalypse.

Worry 1: I am not sure how deep the water is between Tuckernuck and Nantucket. If there is a time when the tides are low enough for someone to walk across it could be problematic, but I’m sure I could rig up some warning system, since I won’t have the internet or work or class or anything else to fiddle around with, and therefore plenty of free-time.

Worry 2: I don’t know how to properly kill and skin animals, or fish, or start a fire with stick and stones (you fart on the fire to make it bigger, right?) or do any of that survival stuff, but I’m working on it.

thumb***Worry 3: How far can zombies smell human flesh? If they can smell it from across a body of water, can they walk through it? Will they walk through it? If they walk through it, will the sharks and fish try to eat them since zombies are heaps of dead flesh? If the sharks and fish eat them will the sharks and fish becomes zombie sharks and fish? If the answer is yes, then won’t the birds (parasites, virusus, plants???) becomes zombie birds and fly over to my island and ruin everything?

These are extremely important questions that need to be answered in order for me to complete my strategy.


About Annie McGovern

MA in Science and Medical Writing; Creative Writing BA; consumes books and science for sustenance (and tea); questionable Korean language skills; end
This entry was posted in Horror, Tiddlybits/Musings and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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